Don't Worry
Don’t Worry.
Your peace level is directly connected to your need for control.
I remember telling someone that in an apt about 5 years ago. Of course, because I’m a pastor, I worked it into a sermon a few months later.
Don’t worry. Two words that roll off the tongue easily, but for most of us can be quite a challenge. The last couple of days, this idea of controlling other people or sensing a need to control has come up in a few conversations in my pastoral counseling and ministry. People who feel frustrated or angry or even overlooked and ignored.
You can’t control other people and nor should you try.
If someone tells you a terrible story about their boss, their coworker, their spouse, or their pastor, and you quickly believe every word of it and think, “I have to control the situation! I’m gonna go tell them off.” Maybe you should put the brakes on and ask yourself … “is it my job to control this situation?” “Is it my job to control the narrative?” The outcome, any of it?” Nope.
You should probably assume that there is another side to this story (see the vs below) yet listen with empathy. Then, kindly ask “Have you gone to this person and explained how you feel?” Now it’s possible they have, and if so, continue listening and helping them navigate the situation they’re in.
Some people, you will find, however, don’t actually want a matter resolved. They just want to remain hurt. They’ve made that their identity. “Hurt. Victim.” It’s possible they were genuinely hurt maybe 10 years ago, maybe 15 years ago, but now they see all of life through the filter of offense, and so be careful not to just believe everything they say because it is possible they are simply viewing the situation through their predetermined lens of offense.
Something you can control is your work and effort. And by work, I don’t just mean you’re 9 to 5. I mean whenever you put your heart into and choose to commit to do. In my upcoming book, I call it your “work of art” because you can control your work. This is where you will build confidence - confidence in yourself confidence in the God who is at work with you! You can control what YOU contribute to the world. Don’t worry and stress over what others are or are not doing.
Another thing you can control is your attitude (which is shown in your tone of voice and words chosen)
Will you choose to only speak when you disapprove or will you commend people and give encouragement to friends, coworkers strangers, supervisors, people in authority, etc This too is a choice you have every day. Instead of worrying about who has disappointed you, focus a little energy on who has impressed you with their right choices, good work ethic and generous nature. Commend them. Tell them. Smile.
Many worry their spouse isn’t doing as much as they are so they keep score, criticize and complain. Instead of asking about their day, they unload in a fit of rage. All because they were worrying, counting chores, when they could be planning a fun surprise trip or a fun, cheap date.
Many worry their boss doesn’t value them so they slander him/her at the water cooler. The maturing believer, though, does their work to the best of their ability and listens well. They catch the eye of their supervisor or boss due to their great attitude and great effort (which usually results in a raise). Ironically, the sour person expecting a raise might not get one. (A business owner just told me this recently over breakfast) So ironic.
A few verses that come to mind …
“The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him.”
Proverbs 18:17
In other words, there are always two sides to a story.
“Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7
“A fool stirs up anger” - like 100 Proverbs 🙂
Today, make your choice.
Bless. Don’t slander. Don’t repeat slander either. Don’t worry about other people’s effort or lack of effort. Don’t worry over a future you can’t control. Let God do that. Just serve, work, play, be in the moment.
This little devotional is not an excerpt from my upcoming book, but the following line is …
“When you worry, you are misusing the imagination God gave you. He designed you to use that to ponder the great things He will do - not fear the awful things that will happen to you. Worry is a misuse of the imagination.”